"Run with perseverance..."

"Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

As I wait anxiously for the word from headquarters, I look back on a year gone by with great satisfaction. I am so thankful for all that the Lord has accomplished in me.

This great anticipation and yet this great fear has arisen within me. I anticipate with great expectation the adventures that are around the corner, and yet I hesitate. My hesitations lies in the knowledge of my inexperience. Although it will only be experience that cultivates more experience, my heartbeat increases when I think of this.

The dreams I have spun are wildly carousing all about me, and the path I am supposed to travel lays before me, ominously, hidden under the web of dreams that have been spun all over the path. Where the precious gravel road was, is now hidden by many leaves. Leaves of all kinds of beautiful colors...yet they hide the true direction that the road is leading...leaving only piles and piles of beauty to be discovered in every step which could deceptively get one far off the actual path. Each step must be taken carefully with the reassuring crunch of the gravel underfoot giving confidence to my direction.

I praise God because He has delighted to go on this adventure with me. It is so beautiful. I want to thank him and also ask His help. It is vitally necessary that I focus on this month ahead. I must get a criminal background check, buy my ticket with the proper travel agency so that my account can be directly billed, have my address changed to the Costa Rica address, have all my things packed, bringing as many lightweight things as possible, have my insurance letter in hand, my official papers, basically all evidence of my entire life and probably a safebox to keep them all safe, and I also need many MANY prayers for safety.

I have limitations, and your prayers are very important right now. I am so excited because this is the realization of one of my many dreams. This is the beginning of wars in new places. This is the road I must walk. I am also in need. I need God's strength, protection, and focus. I must remember everything. Oh that I could memorize all the valuable necessary pieces of information contained in my week of School of Missions. All the notes I have, I will wish to put in a handbook and refer to them often. How I can do all these things correctly?

Here I am venturing out for two years when I have NEVER traveled to another country on my own. All those details that we did as a group, I will now go through customs on my own. I will have my passport ready, my official papers in hand, and I will become a resident in a foreign land that I never knew.

I am prepared for this to the best of my ability, but am I adequately prepared? The organization skills I have tried so hard to hone are testing and trying me now. The Spanish I will be using on a regular basis, I will no longer be able to run and hide from, and in fact I will relish every moment that I get to speak it. I get great energy from the use of it.

Oh the joy that my heart feels as I speak this language. The delight in meeting and teaching the little children. This will be only the beginning. I pray that God helps my creativity to be a blessing to the children, and that who I am would just explode over there. It will be pure bliss to bless the children, and my prayer is that I can be healing hands for their little hearts.

I could write so much about all that has been whirling in my brain. I have been quite distracted lately, and my desire is to be prepared and ready, although I can readily see my limitations.

Well...I suppose I better get back to work on my organizing things for my trip! How will I keep it all together? May the Lord still my anxieties, calm my fears, and give me His focus.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows." (James 1:17)